this was the year of reading. this was the year of seeking knowledge and perusing my well-being. this was the year of finding out the truth about the nature of who i am and the realm i’m currently in. getting in touch with my soul. feeling myself as who i actually am — a formless, divine soul. a spiritual being having a physical experience. it was when i awakened to this truth that i began to understand and appreciate being on this Earth in this time. more truths flooded into my life. my consciousness bloomed like never before. i became a magnet attracting all that i needed to know in order to live a better, more beautiful and abundant life.
i opened up my heart to love. i stopped suppressing and resisting my heart’s will and right to love and forgive as endlessly and unconditionally as it was created to do. i have realized how forgiving everyone and everything is in my true essence — it’s something natural and easy to me if i don’t resist it. something unlimited, unconditional, just there in abundance, ready to be given out in every encounter i experience. just like the love that’s my heart is made of as well. they’re both just there fluttering to fly and spread across my world.
this was the biggest year of my life. the year i’ve worked on myself and let go of many of my fears. my peculiarities and irrational, limiting beliefs. i let go of allot of them — i’ve actually forgotten what some of them were! i’ve only turned seventeen and this huge shift that has taken place in my life makes me feel like i’ve lived seventy years.
i’ve experienced so much — almost every emotion there has ever been felt, and i’ve transcended it all. i’ve written allot about it. it wasn’t easy at times. but definitely effortless most days — for once you open up the gate, the waters just keep flowing. it keeps getting better and better, easier and easier.
this was also the year of discovering new realms of writing. i wrote allot. in styles and words i’ve never used before. my creativity shined through like a sun to my days. inspiration just kept coming in, blessing and blissing my life in a way i could have never imagined.
reflecting back now, i think it’s all about keeping your doors open. being receptive and allowing goodness to just flow and flood your life. this is what’s natural to us as Beings in the first place! we weren’t created and sent to this Earth to struggle our way through. it’s the exact opposite. understanding this has poured waterfalls to the fire of the fear of being purposeless that was burning the heavens out of my heart.
the most major thing that has caused all this change and took it to further goodness was meditation. i meditated allot. many mornings, many nights. i experienced formlessness. even pleasant numbness in my body! and every time i opened my eyes and came back to form, i felt reborn and new, filled with gratitude and bliss.
this was a year in which i allowed my innate courage to make a stand for itself. i knew myself and what i wanted so well, that i let nothing, not anyone’s opinion stand on my way. and i did it so effortlessly and gracefully and without any worries or doubts or regrets clouding over me. i just knew. God was with me. i was connected to something so great, nothing could pull me back. i had indomitable faith in a Power that i knew was guiding me to all the experiences i ought to live.
this was also the year of exploring. the year of living my dream of being astonished by nature and beauty. i visited so many countries, and so many places in my own country. my thought expanded. the edges around my view of the world softened. i deepened my trust and connection in a friendship that’s now a source of true joy to me because of how vivaciously bursting with life it is.
three major dreams of mine manifested. one was a specific amount of money. one was traveling to the place i wanted to visit most, which was London. and one was meeting my greatest teacher, Dr. Joe Dispenza. the manifestation of those three huge, seemingly-impossible desires has taught me the greatest, most important thing about asking and receiving what you’ve asked for. it has taught me the power of surrender and detachment, and how by detaching from and forgetting about what you’ve asked for and enjoying your life without being attached to it or waiting for it, is the secret to attaining all that your wild heart desires.
i don’t know how i managed to do it, but i blew my brains out with both what i was learning from books and the language i was learning from songs and tv shows. my brain just seemed to suck it all up. i had no idea i could save up in my head this much! not to mention, easily memorizing several pages and acing every single one of my exams. our brains and minds are truly miraculous..
there are two things that i’ve realized this year that will make the rest of my life so much easier: my brain is innately genuis, and i can trust my subconscious with anything — healing, remembering, changing, and turning a difficult task to an effortless, almost mindless process.
this year has been so so so much more than i can recall right now. i just couldn’t be more grateful.