if i talk
if i say the truth
if i do what my heart tells me to do
he will freeze his eyes on me
and give all his anger to his voice
he will strangle me with his eyes
and stab me with his voice

so i’ll hold it in
i’ll catch my tears
before they fall
and silence my screams
before they explode
out of my skin
and shatter the windows
like his voice always did
i’ll lie and say i’m fine
i’ll smile and kiss him goodbye
as the right side of my body
secretly hurts and bleeds
for years of sleepless nights
and avalanches of unspoken words
until i one day shatter
loud enough for him to hear, to see,
the damage he’s inflicted
on
his
own
fucking
d a u g h t e r

—breathe—

one day when it’s too late
and nothing matters anymore
a night where he will have a taste
of a night sleepless with pain and smothering remorse
a time where he will realize the power
he once had on me and how he’s stripped
off it now,
for it had dug my grave and buried me

a l i v e,

y o u n g,

v o i c e l e s s

a n d

d e s p e r a t e   f o r   l o v e;

h i s  l o v e.