by Agnes Cecile | via

i miss who i was two years ago,
where i was and the way i felt.
this nostalgia is making it feel
as if it was way better than it
actually was; as if i was content
and felt no nostalgia for the two
years prior.
but i crave the newness, the
foreignness of my emotions.
the start of all this never ending
misery and desperation.
i was actually feeling every little
sting deep in my heart and within my soul.
now i’m just numb; just a hollow black
hole with no light nor real emotion.
all i know now is fear, nostalgia and
remorse. it’s been so long that the pain
has completely numbed me out,
it has become normal to me
to be in this constant cycle
of madness and nothingness.
even now,
i have fully believed that i am just that;
mad and nothing.

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