This Damage Cannot Be Undone

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by Joanna Wędrychowska | via DeviantArt.com

I looked out the window,
watched free souls and survivors,
flickering lights and speeding cars,
hair flowing in the wind and
laughter echoing in the air.
Just as the scenery seemed invincible,
peacefully impeccable,
Suddenly, abruptly, and all at once,
all this beauty and freedom demolishes,
walls come crumbling down,
ceilings crash to the ground,
and
glass shatters across all corners.

A button
clicks
inside me.

What am I doing caging
myself behind this window
watching the world
living and moving
right before me—this close to me
as I sit here,
helplessly caught in agony,
crying and bleeding
over crippling delusions?

I jump.
The child
in me rises.
I’m learning
how to be
happy and
live freely
again.
I’m getting
my life back
again.
I’m having
a second chance.
Again.

•••

Except,
A hollow void is all I come to see.

All I’ve ever wished for has evaporated.
Magic and hope early departed.
All this damage undergone right before me..
It is the closest thing resembling
what I’ve done to myself.

I am a little too late now..

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