It’s been 11 days. I don’t want to do it and I’m not gonna do it tonight. Not even tomorrow. But the doubts and fear wont stop. I might be strong today and tomorrow but what about the day after? Till when am I gonna keep control and dismiss all voices and urges? I know it’s not gonna be long. I know I will fall soon. And that terrifies me. But it’s the cycle. The unbreakable vicious cycle. This is what it entails; I get control for a few days, then I fall face down to the ground and shatter to pieces like shelves loaded with glassware. My mind is the glass, my body is the ground, and the voices are the shelves.